HAVING WHEELS

Having a set of wheels to cruise about London has made a big difference to "get out there" and announce myself to the world. Last night I decided to take a little ride around town, hopefully to catch an open mike somewhere where I could perform. On a Tuesday in South London there are basically three options I know of, namely the Half Moon at Herne Hill, the New Cross Inn in New Cross and the British Oak in Blackheath/Greenwich. I plumped for the New Cross Inn.

NEW CROSS INN
Unfortunately this turned out to be a bit of a mistake, since the closing time for bookings there is 19:00 (at the Half Moon it is 20:00), but nevertheless I did hang around to check out a couple of acts. The pub itself is built for live music, the stage area dominates at the back and the mixing desk is at the front by the door. The pub is basically furnished with long benches and tables for the most part, and it has a pool table and various stand up tables  the equip,et seemed decent enough. I noticed the main stand up speakers were electrovoice, and there were a couple of monitors before the stage. The house drum set, proudly sporting New Cross Inn on the bass drum skin, was surprisingly not miked for bands, and when I arrived there was one playing, who were OK but not jaw dropping. I have to say though, that the quality of the sound considering this was a music pub was well below par, indistinct and way too tinny, note enough bass tones which should not have been a problem...and they should have miked the bass drum. The next act up was a young lady performing some nice acoustic stuff, sweet voice and she did renditions of "Smells like teen spirit" and "Use somebody", all laid back. I had a brief chat with Sean Bennett who was also up to play for 9:30, but decided to leave and check other places out.

LOUSY EQUIPMENT
My first plan was to head for the British Oak, as I knew I was too late to get a slot at the Half Moon. On the way to Greenwich I took the road to Deptford, only to stop off at the Birds Nest. This is seems to be a rather in pub for live music, but when I had a look at the tiny stage area and the equipment, I couldnt frankly understand why. Everything lloked at least 40 years old, extremely tatty, and the only thing remotely new was a Mackie mixer, preumably the main one for the shop. Hopsing would be really jealous of the equipment here, I can tell you.

COMEDY ON THE BUSES
After I left the Birds Nest I went next door to a place built around a double decker bus...a very interesting place with the bus fitted with restaurant seats somewhat reminiscent of an american diner (without the tableside jukeboxes). I asked the charming barmaid whether they did any live music in the place, she said no but proudly announced that there was live comedy at the back. She showed me around and I entered a room which seems to have been built from a trailer.....very narrow indeed, filled with about 20 students. I managed to catch one full act, a young man who could clearly pull off a decent best man speech, but who could be well advised to stay away from bull sperm in his routine. He was basically telling anecdotes around his core theme of McDonalds. The funniest moment came when he talked about "Mind control à la chocolate orange", clearly confusing engineering and confectionery. Clearly his droogs didnt seem to mind and thought it was all horrorshow.

POP IN THE NORTH POLE
My next stop was the North Pole in Greenwich, where I went upstaits ro the piano restaurant, which was completely empty. The waiter asked me what I wanted as if I was Colin Ireland walking in on a gaysoc meeting. I explained that I was a pretty reasonable piano player and he of course spieled me with "well we already have a couple".....well I left my card anyway. It did seem like a good venue for weddings though...I shall approach them more officially I think with a more comprehensive concept. They look like they could do with some extra business in truth.

Well after that I headed back home for a last pint in my local, and then off to sleep.

I can see, however, how this culd turn out to be a fruitful way of getting myself about with a bit of planning. .